OK so I went on a mad rush today after discovering that I have misplaced some very important papers. Now my house looks messier than ever, and i do not mean in a oh don't mind the dust bunnies, kind of way, I mean the way your would expect a house that has been turned upside down after 4 proper years of neglect.
while I do not need these papers right now, I will need them soon and to not know where they are has me more than disappointed in myself and has forced me to look at my mess. This summer, my friend received a message for me that when I get rid of the bags, that romantic energy would flow in. Well I did ask if these were metaphorical or physical,and she said physical. Around that time I had many bags to donate, so I thought those were it. No, nope not at all. Today as I am going through many many bags of old mail, papers, things to be filed and shredded, I found a small hand written note. This not was from someone, who I thought that I long ago got rid of everything. Last year I found a gift they had given me and promptly threw it in the garbage. I thought OK, the end of the cords the reminders. Nope like a knife this note cut me as I pulled it out of the clutter. I cried some last old tears and tore it to shreds.
Something in me has snapped and I have a feeling that this is the beginning of a very long de-cluttering journey. I want no more nasty surprises. I want to reclaim my home and thus myself. He will have nothing left of him here. There are other memories that got tossed into the trash, from others I no longer wish to have ties to. When Everything is shredded and all the bags are ready to be dumped, I will take a picture for you to really see what needed to go.
I still have not found my missing papers, but I suspect that I will find so much more than I am bargaining for.
Cords will be cut and I will reclaim all the pieces of my soul!