Giving Thanks and Letting Go of Toxic Relationships

I am well aware that Thanksgiving can be a hot button topic, as history starts to reveal a rather toxic relationship between the Pilgrims and The Native Americans who helped them. That the story we were taught as children was an edited and sanitized version that told of turkeys, pumpkin pie and two cultures coming together in harmony. Let's be real here, the pilgrims were poorly prepared, starving and about to die in a new and stark world. Their neighbors looked on, shook their heads and went, well we probably shouldn't let them die. Some help and food exchanged. There was a celebration that they made it through the year. They then turned around and betrayed their new "friends." That is the nutshell quick version. Ultimately it was not good for the Native Americans and they probably regretted their decision to be friendly. I highly suggest reading up on the full story, from the horrible boat trip over to the betrayal at the end, it's a good read.

Life is like that though, sometimes we help others and they are grateful and other times they turn it all around on us and make us wonder why we offered a hand. Learn from those experiences and learn to set healthy boundaries. Give and help because it brings you joy. Remember that those who really need help, may not be in the right mind space to accept it or return the favor. They may not be able to show you or anyone appreciation and that is fine. If you can appreciate the moment and expansion you feel in giving of yourself, then that is what matters. 

As we meet in person or remotely with our family and friends, keep yourself in that headspace: Offer love and help, but set healthy boundaries. Be a shoulder to lean on not a crutch to rely on. If you are feeling low on energy, take a break from everyone and go for a little walk, then come back to the hustle and bustle.  Remember that pets and babies, make for a great energy boost! Play, eat, and have fun with those you love.

Personally Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, not for the 1600's roots, but for the family and friends. I love the smells, the tastes and the conversations. I love breaking the bread for stuffing with my father and the smell of my mother's homemade applesauce. I adore the endless leftovers and sneaking another sliver of pumpkin pie. I love the look of the geese as they fly and honk overhead and the sound of leaves crunching underfoot. The simple joys of fall and home, that is what I am Thankful for. While this year finds me away from home during the holidays, for the first time in my life, I am thankful for technology that can bring us together. I am grateful that I have my little dog to keep me company and that I can put food on the table. There are a million things that I can find to be thankful for and I hope that you can too! May you and your family find a way to be close, may your bellies be full and your hearts warm.

Happy Thanksgiving,
Mindfulness Express

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