Love is paradoxically both the simplest and most complex of all human emotions. It is easy to love someone who is kind, compassionate, and loves you back. How about that loving feeling when they are hurtful, spiteful, jealous? I had a client come to me about this recently and I said to them; "Love them not because of who they are, but because of who you are." This caused them to pause. You can love someone past the pain. It does not mean that you must be a doormat and accept bad behavior. You can love someone and yourself by creating distance. You can voice your truth and tell them that although you love them, you will not allow them to continue to hurt you. You always have the right to step back and walk away. It could be temporary or permanent.
Time away does not mean an hour or a day, it means real time, with no texting, emailing, or phone contact. No social media either, don't stalk their page and expect to get any healing done. Behaviors and attitudes need to change. But you also have to look at how you have been treating yourself. How you treat yourself, tells others how you want to be treated. If you do not give yourself enough time, you will attract friends, coworkers, family, and significant others who do not give you any time. If you never spend any money on yourself, why should anyone else? If you make nasty and hurtful comments about yourself, you are telling others, it is okay for them to do that as well. If you continue to allow people to mistreat you, there is no reason for them to change. Your attitude of self love should act like a beacon of light for others to be attracted to and to live in the space of that light.
It can be scary to make these changes, but you will find that the people who stay with you through those changes are well worth keeping. Self love is powerful. It is different than conceit. Conceit says, "I am better than everyone else." Self love says, "I, like everyone else am worthy of love." "I, like everyone else, am important and am worthy of being heard." Conceit is a lower vibration while empowerment takes nothing away from anyone else.
So if you love someone who is acting "unlovable," remember that you can love them because you are a loving person who knows that under their behavior is someone who is insecure, in pain, lost, angry or any number of things that have absolutely nothing to do with who you are as a person. You can love someone without giving them your energy and time. You can give them a loving thought and move on with your day. You can wish them well and then spend time making your life awesome.
I wish for you a season of love and abundance.