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Breathe, relax and take a read!

Celebrate Valentine's Day by Cleaning Out the Emotional Self

2/13/2021

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I would like to start with a quote from one of my favorite writers:
Maya Angelou ""It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody"
Everyone wants to know how to clear their chakras, their past lives, old energy the simple one step answer is forgiveness. Even forgiving yourself, those who have passed on, everyone. The fact is that we are not perfect, you will at one point in your life mess up and hurt someone or yourself, by not being the person that you were expected to be. Maybe you stayed in a bad relationship too long, misjudged someone, self sabotaged your goals or any number of missteps that you will replay in your mind until the tape is worn out. Someone in your life may do you a great injustice, hurt you, or hurt someone you love. This is a simple fact of life. Holding on to the anger only hurts you in the long run. It is like taking a slow working poison that hardens the heart, skews your self image, and can ruin future opportunities. 

How to forgive is an entirely different beast. Some points that may help you on the forgiveness journey:
  • Forgiveness is not to be mistaken for weakness. In fact it takes a very strong person to forgive. 
  • Forgiving someone does not mean that you will allow them to hurt you again. It means that you are no longer going to allow the pain of what happened to continue to hurt you.
  • You must recognize that no one, including yourself, is perfect. Messing up is how we learn and grow.
  • We did not choose to come into this life to be perfect.
  • When you forgive someone, you are setting yourself free from their energy and releasing them from yours. The longer you hold on, the longer they stay in your life.
  • You cannot change someone else with your wrath. Being angry and sad does not change who someone else is, just who you are. 
  • Peace is when you realize that it is time to look forward and love whom you have become. Everything in your past made you the amazing person you are right now.
  • When you forgive yourself for your mistakes, you give yourself permission to grow and to evolve.
  • Forgiving yourself does not mean that you do not have to make amends to those you have wronged. Saying your sorry and meaning it, means that you commit yourself to building a better relationship with that person or yourself. 
  • Accepting an apology does not mean that you have to keep that person in your life.
This is a very short list that I will expand on in an upcoming book. (Check out http://www.jdayauthor.com to stay up to date on  my newest books!)

Clearing out your heart chakra takes time and patience. You cannot wave a magic wand and expect all of the lifetimes of hurt to vanish.  You can little by little, release the hurt, the wounds and the pain of the past and fill that space up with love. Love yourself and those around you for being the perfectly flawed people that you are meant to be. Love the sunrise of each new day and the opportunity it brings. 

Affirmation:
With gratitude for the lessons learned; I forgive and release all old energy, cords, and anything else that is holding me back from living in a state of peace and Divine love.

My chakras and energy field are perfectly cleared, activated and aligned with the energy of love.


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Hello 2021! How are you feeling about it?

1/16/2021

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2021 slid into our lives like a thirsty D.M. on Instagram. It has been making us promises that it couldn't keep since June. How many people have you heard saying, ":I can't wait until 2021!" Everyone, myself included. I was not deluded into thinking that  the world would have a reverse Cinderella moment at the stroke of midnight and suddenly poof 2020 turned into the best version of itself ready for the socially distant ball. Masks off boys and babes, lets party, the world is back to normal. No, MASKS ON, stay safe, 2021 is not normal, it is potentially a bit better and filled with hope, but we are still on this ride.

The idea now is how to make 2021, personally better. 
  • Get rid of expectations: 
    • Take this time to become comfortable with change and yourself. 2020 pulled the rug out from under us and we went into survival mode- Oreos and toilet paper and every man for themselves. You may have gained double the Freshman fifteen or lost that amount. You may have lost a job and started a business. You may have found yourself caring for the health of yourself and loved ones. Some of you adopted pets and many of you are probably expecting a baby or two. Life changed in so many ways, I can't keep up. 
    • Instead of expecting 2021 to be better by virtue that it is a new year, make it better with your choices and frame of mind. While you cannot control what is happening in the world you can take some steps to change your reactions. 
    • So stop comparing 2021 to it's older sister and let her be her own interesting self.
  • Make a plan for the year:
    • A plan is different than expectations. A plan is active and action. My plan is to focus on my health and sleep, both of which took a big hit this year. I plan on publishing another book and expanding my business. I am not however laying any expectations on them (Timelines and definition of success.) 
    • Better should be the goal. Better is open-ended and ever growing. It is in the now and in the future! It leaves room for the Universe to work with your energy rather than you trying to create and then live in a self prescribed box.
  • Small steps lead to big leaps:
    • One small step after another leads to big gains. Loose a 1/2 pound a week and that is 25 pounds released by the end of the year. If you eat out all the time and try cooking one meal a week that saves you $5 that is $250 saved by the end of the year. Perhaps you start with one meal a week and by the end of the year are cooking everything at home, the amount you will save is immense. Small deliberate changes, will get you where you want to go.
    • Meditate for 1 minute, then the next week up it to 5 and keep going slowly until you build up your mental focus.
 Be kind to yourself, don't judge others, stay away from the news when you can and move forward at your own rate. I wish you a beautiful abundant year, filled with small and big successes, new energy, and joy.
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Tips and Tools to Thrive During the Holidays in 2020!

12/19/2020

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Hello friends,

2020 has been a wild ride to say the least! Have you filled your 2020 bingo card yet? For many of you the holidays may look a little different this year. I know there are those who will get to spend it with their loved ones, but there are many like me who may choose to spend it in isolation. This can make an already difficult season even harder to cope with. I would be lying if I said that no tears were shed at my decision to stay home.

Those who are close to me know that my favorite place is at home with my family, but all of us fall into the medically susceptible category and have decided that travel is too risky right now. So the question is how to move past the tears and into a place of hope?
Well the answer depends on what is making it difficult for you to find your joy. I will break it down into categories and give you some tips and tools to rock around your Christmas tree, Light a spiritual fire for your Menorah, get creative with your Kwanzaa or ring in the New Year with a sense of joy!

Challenge 1. Money is tight
Many of you have found yourself in between jobs, stuck in quarantine, or counting your pennies in the off chance that the proverbial deer poop hits the fan. Here are some ways to celebrate while counting the coin.
  • Skip the travel and celebrate from home. Many of you are doing this out of safety, but this is a good choice if you want to save on travel costs.
  • Check out YouTube videos that are all about cooking on a dime! One of my favorites are Frugal Fit Mom. She makes cooking for a family of six on a budget look easy. But honestly she is one of many who can help you find inspiration. Here is another great channel for cooking on a budget: Tasty
  • Hand made gifts only, using what is already in the house. Maybe it is a poem, or a bell jar craft, the idea is to re-use and recycle to celebrate your holiday and love for each other.
  • Handmake all of your decorations. Go to the dollar store, buy as much crafty items as you can with say $5-10 and go to town. Could you make a wire hanger tree with close pin ornaments? Could you find some beautiful candles and candle holders to light up the night? Do It on a Dime, Liz Fenwick DIY, and His, Hers and Ours have some great decorating ideas for Christmas and Hanukkah from the dollar tree.
  • Use YouTube playlists for holiday music!

Challenge 2. You are all alone
You may find yourself all alone during this difficult time and you will have the choice of being stuck in sad mode, or planning out fun ways to celebrate.

  • Try something new. I decided to try my hand at baking this year.
  • Use Facebook or zoom to have a virtual dinner with your family and friends.
  • Plan out some new traditions that celebrate being on your own, PJ's all day, coca and movies with popcorn for dinner (celebrate your inner kid.)Special meal for you and your pet. Buy/make yourself a great gift. The options are endless, be creative and enjoy your time.
  • Get in touch with other people you know who are having a rough time being alone and make a virtual celebration for you all.
  • Find a charity and set up a virtual Facebook fundraiser for them.

Challenge 3. You are straight up depressed
Okay, I got it 2020, was rotten and the flying snakes and no toilet paper really iced your cake. Seriously though there are several ways to cope with this:

  • Find someone, ideally a professional to talk it out with. Once you have done that, there are other ways to get out of the funk.
  • Find ways to help others in your community. It does not have to be in person. Many charities need volunteers with skills. I work with a local Soropimist club that helps women and children all over the world. I ended up creating a Meditation that you can download here: Fundraising Meditation to raise funds for my club. You have your own set of skills to share and care.
  • Exercise, get your endorphins up and work out the stress. Go outside or stay inside with some workout videos. Showing love to yourself, is a wonderful first step.
  • Make plans for fun activities. They do not have to be post quarantine plans, they can be as small as a candle-lit bath or as big as a "When Covid is over " vacation.
However you celebrate is up to you, but remember that challenges are a chance to be creative and innovative. You can inspire the light in the people around you.

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Love, is it really that simple?

11/29/2020

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Love is paradoxically both the simplest and most complex of all human emotions. It is easy to love someone who is kind, compassionate, and loves you back. How about that loving feeling when they are hurtful, spiteful, jealous? I had a client come to me about this recently and I said to them; "Love them not because of who they are, but because of who you are." This caused them to pause. You can love someone past the pain. It does not mean that you must be a doormat and accept bad behavior. You can love someone and yourself by creating distance. You can voice your truth and tell them that although you love them, you will not allow them to continue to hurt you. You always have the right to step back and walk away.  It could be temporary or permanent.

Time away does not mean an hour or a day, it means real time, with no texting, emailing, or phone contact. No social media either, don't stalk their page and expect to get any healing done. Behaviors and attitudes need to change. But you also have to look at how you have been treating yourself. How you treat yourself, tells others how you want to be treated. If you do not give yourself enough time, you will attract friends, coworkers, family, and significant others who do not give you any time. If you never spend any money on yourself, why should anyone else? If you make nasty and hurtful comments about yourself, you are telling others, it is okay for them to do that as well. If you continue to allow people to mistreat you, there is no reason for them to change. Your attitude of self love should act like a beacon of light for others to be attracted to and to live in the space of that light.

It can be scary to make these changes, but you will find that the people who stay with you through those changes are well worth keeping. Self love is powerful. It is different than conceit. Conceit says, "I am better than everyone else."  Self love says, "I, like everyone else am worthy of love." "I, like everyone else, am important and  am worthy of being heard."  Conceit is a lower vibration while empowerment takes nothing away from anyone else. 

So if you love someone who is acting "unlovable," remember that you can love them because you are a loving person who knows that under their behavior is someone who is insecure, in pain, lost, angry or any number of things that have absolutely nothing to do with who you are as a person. You can love someone without giving them your energy and time. You can give them a loving thought and move on with your day. You can wish them well and then spend time making your life awesome.

I wish for you a season of love and abundance.

Love,
​J. Day

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Giving Thanks and Letting Go of Toxic Relationships

11/21/2020

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I am well aware that Thanksgiving can be a hot button topic, as history starts to reveal a rather toxic relationship between the Pilgrims and The Native Americans who helped them. That the story we were taught as children was an edited and sanitized version that told of turkeys, pumpkin pie and two cultures coming together in harmony. Let's be real here, the pilgrims were poorly prepared, starving and about to die in a new and stark world. Their neighbors looked on, shook their heads and went, well we probably shouldn't let them die. Some help and food exchanged. There was a celebration that they made it through the year. They then turned around and betrayed their new "friends." That is the nutshell quick version. Ultimately it was not good for the Native Americans and they probably regretted their decision to be friendly. I highly suggest reading up on the full story, from the horrible boat trip over to the betrayal at the end, it's a good read.

Life is like that though, sometimes we help others and they are grateful and other times they turn it all around on us and make us wonder why we offered a hand. Learn from those experiences and learn to set healthy boundaries. Give and help because it brings you joy. Remember that those who really need help, may not be in the right mind space to accept it or return the favor. They may not be able to show you or anyone appreciation and that is fine. If you can appreciate the moment and expansion you feel in giving of yourself, then that is what matters. 

As we meet in person or remotely with our family and friends, keep yourself in that headspace: Offer love and help, but set healthy boundaries. Be a shoulder to lean on not a crutch to rely on. If you are feeling low on energy, take a break from everyone and go for a little walk, then come back to the hustle and bustle.  Remember that pets and babies, make for a great energy boost! Play, eat, and have fun with those you love.

Personally Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, not for the 1600's roots, but for the family and friends. I love the smells, the tastes and the conversations. I love breaking the bread for stuffing with my father and the smell of my mother's homemade applesauce. I adore the endless leftovers and sneaking another sliver of pumpkin pie. I love the look of the geese as they fly and honk overhead and the sound of leaves crunching underfoot. The simple joys of fall and home, that is what I am Thankful for. While this year finds me away from home during the holidays, for the first time in my life, I am thankful for technology that can bring us together. I am grateful that I have my little dog to keep me company and that I can put food on the table. There are a million things that I can find to be thankful for and I hope that you can too! May you and your family find a way to be close, may your bellies be full and your hearts warm.

Happy Thanksgiving,
Mindfulness Express

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Welcome with a 5 step countdown!

11/14/2020

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Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by. In this blog you will find tips and tools for incorporating mindfulness into your every day life.  Mindfulness is often seen as a long and involved process, which makes it difficult for many people to work into their daily schedules. In reality it is about slowing down for minutes at a time, to bring in a sense of peace and wellbeing, even in chaos. 

There is no magic wand to wave, that suddenly makes you a Zen person, rather it is a series of decisions and responses that can make your day go smoother.  

Scenario: Work has become overwhelming and you have 20 things on your to do list before you can even think of kicking your feet up.
  1. Write the list down
  2. Ask yourself: What can wait until tomorrow? What can I delegate to someone else? What am I doing that SHOULD be done by someone else? Then take steps to re-allocate those items
  3. Appreciate everything you have already done
  4. Take 30-60 seconds to close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply
  5. Set a reasonable end time to achieve your daily list and when that time comes rest and do something for yourself. If you have to go back and finish the list later, that is fine, but at least you will have worked in some me time!

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  • Home
  • Indigo Integrative Life Coaching
  • The Online Store
  • Services and Contact Form
  • Calendar of Events
  • About Indigo Papillon and JD
  • Testimonials
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  • Sign up for our E-Bulletin
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  • Mindfulness Express
  • Blog: Mindfulness Express